Divorce and Kids Part (3)
Good evening everyone, Labels: Divorce and Kids
I just wanted to comment on some of the comments left by one of the readers.
He or she mentioned that: "My father never spoke ill of my mother but he talked about money problems around us (not to us) sighed about bills, we in turn felt guilty about holidays. He always expressed how much he missed us, too much in fact, he always asked if we wanted to stay longer and we felt guilty because we didn't. When we got a little older he said if we wanted to we could live with him. We felt VERY guilty we didn't. Believe it or not your children may want to live in one home. They may want to stay where their friends are and if one spouse is upset about not spending time with them they feel guilty about not really wanting too. I told my mother what dad said about living with him. She took the guilt away from me by telling me it was NOT my choice but hers that I live with her. That I had no choice.Giving your children a stable home is more important than you'll ever know. It meant my father didn't get what he wanted as an adult I know this and understand it, as a child I did not understand it."
I have some questions for the reader. I would appreciate it if you could share your experience with us. As I can see, your mother "took the guilt away" by telling you that it was her decision. My question is, if this is true, how fair was that to your Dad to make a one-sided decision without asking him how he felt?
You said that stability was very important for you as a child, which I agree with, but would it have been as good, had you lived with your Dad on a permanent basis and visited with your Mom. In other words, if things had been reversed, would it have been OK?
One more question: did your Dad agree to let your Mom have custody of you and your siblings, or did they go to court to achieve that? I am not siding with your Mom or your Dad here, rather, I am siding with fairness!
Thank you for willing to share your answers with us.
Have a good night everyone!
Dr. Dreamer


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