<% page = replace(Request("page"), "%20", " ") amazonquery = page %> <% If page = "Introduction" then %> Relationships, Marriage, Kids, Children, and Divorce. What you need to know. <% ElseIF page = "Definitions" then %> Marriage, Divorce, Family Law Legal Terms and Definitions. <% ElseIF page = "In-Laws and Divorce" then %> In-Laws and How They Affect Your Marriage and Children. <% ElseIF page = "Family Law" then %> Family Law - Discussison of the Unfairness of Family Law. <% ElseIF page <> "" then %> <%=page%>: What you need to know <% ElseIF page = "" then %> Marriage Warnings, Parenting Guidance, and Divorce Advice.: Divorce and Kids Part (3) <% End If %>

Marriage Warnings, Parenting Guidance, and Divorce Advice.

My nickname is Dr. Dreamer because first, I am a Doctor, and second, I have always dreamt of a wonderful life, where my spouse, and I would enjoy our children and have a great marriage. Even though my original dream is shattered, as a result of a divorce, I am still dreaming.....I would like to share with you a brief introduction of my story. I got married years ago, and my marriage was pretty good for the first 5 years. After that,


"The Yearning and the Reality"

Dr. Dreamer

the relationship between my ex and me started to deteriorate slightly and steadily. However, things were still reasonable between us, and we had our first child. After the birth of our child, my ex changed a lot, negatively so. This affected our relationship further, and life was getting more difficult.After the birth of our second child, things were getting a lot worse between us. This was the beginning of the end.
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    Wednesday, May 16, 2007

    Divorce and Kids Part (3)

    Good evening everyone,

    I just wanted to comment on some of the comments left by one of the readers.

    He or she mentioned that: "My father never spoke ill of my mother but he talked about money problems around us (not to us) sighed about bills, we in turn felt guilty about holidays. He always expressed how much he missed us, too much in fact, he always asked if we wanted to stay longer and we felt guilty because we didn't. When we got a little older he said if we wanted to we could live with him. We felt VERY guilty we didn't. Believe it or not your children may want to live in one home. They may want to stay where their friends are and if one spouse is upset about not spending time with them they feel guilty about not really wanting too. I told my mother what dad said about living with him. She took the guilt away from me by telling me it was NOT my choice but hers that I live with her. That I had no choice.Giving your children a stable home is more important than you'll ever know. It meant my father didn't get what he wanted as an adult I know this and understand it, as a child I did not understand it."

    I have some questions for the reader. I would appreciate it if you could share your experience with us. As I can see, your mother "took the guilt away" by telling you that it was her decision. My question is, if this is true, how fair was that to your Dad to make a one-sided decision without asking him how he felt?

    You said that stability was very important for you as a child, which I agree with, but would it have been as good, had you lived with your Dad on a permanent basis and visited with your Mom. In other words, if things had been reversed, would it have been OK?

    One more question: did your Dad agree to let your Mom have custody of you and your siblings, or did they go to court to achieve that? I am not siding with your Mom or your Dad here, rather, I am siding with fairness!

    Thank you for willing to share your answers with us.

    Have a good night everyone!

    Dr. Dreamer

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    posted by Dr. Dreamer @ 1:50 PM

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